Paul Strikwerda

It's time to tackle one of the most frustrating issues in the voice-over business. It's particularly frustrating because in all the years that I have been a VO-pro, I have seen little or no change. Voice-seekers are just not getting it and voice talents are putting up with it like meek sheep.

Before I tell you what the issue is, imagine for a moment, being lead into a pitch dark room. In this room -so you are told- you will find a dart board, but it could be anywhere.

You are given no more than one dart and one instruction: you must hit the bull's eye. If you don't, you won't be given a second chance and all your time and energy is wasted. Questions are out of the question. You are on your own.

Let me ask you this: how great do you think your chances are to hit that bull's eye? Pretty slim, don't you think?

And yet, day in day out, hundreds of people audition for voiceover jobs of which they have just as little information as someone playing darts in the dark. It's a risky undertaking. Someone might get hurt. But no one seems to care.

How are we expected to give it our best shot if we have little or no clue where the target is and what it looks like? Without a clear destination and a detailed map, it's almost inevitable to get lost. And how many metaphors does it take for me to get my point across?

And by the way, do you know who the worst offenders are? The people looking for international voices!

Take your typical voice-over job listing. With a little bit of luck it will tell you what it's for: a video, eLearning, a commercial. If you're even luckier, it will ask for a specific gender and age range. Now comes the tricky part: language.

For the sake of the argument I will focus on English, but what I have to say also applies to Spanish, Arabic and many other languages.

What goes through your mind when you see that a voice-seeker only lists "English"?

Could they be looking for a talent in Calcutta; for a voice-over from Russian Republic or could I send an English demo with a touch of Dutch… American, or would they prefer her Majesty's English?

And here's the latest trend: "Neutral English."

What the heck is "Neutral English"? Where is it spoken? Is there a Rosetta Stone training I could take? I asked Armin Hierstetter to weigh in on the issue. He's the boss at Bodalgo, an online voice-over casting site. He's actually a funny man… for a German. He said jokingly:

"Neutral English" is spoken in "Neutristan," and he continued:

"Seriously: Many times clients do not care from where exactly the English is coming from (US, UK, South Africa, Australia). Still, they want a native speaker (who - in an ideal world - makes it difficult to judge where exactly she/he is coming from). That's what a client means by Neutral English.

That means: A casting labeled "Neutral English" will go out to all matching talents that have one of the following as one of their mother tongues: American English, British English, Australian English, South African English etcetera."

Although I understand where Armin is coming from, I still don't get it. To me, it sounds like a contradiction in terms to -on one hand- ask for a native speaker, but to request that one shouldn't be able to tell exactly where he/she is coming from.

First off, an accent is nothing but a way of pronouncing a language. Accent specialist Pamela Vanderway's defines it as: 'Characteristic Pronunciation'. It is therefore impossible to speak without an accent. No one is neutral.

Secondly, from a marketing and branding perspective, why would someone want 'neutral'? Neutral is like cooking without salt and spices; it's like painting without colors or the equivalent of annoying Muzak in the elevator. It is boring.

An accent can have a huge impact on how a message is perceived. The choice of voice can be just as important as a company logo or the look of an on-camera actor. It can dramatically increase sales and improve conversion rates. That's why car companies hire A-list actors such as Jeff Bridges and Robert Downey Jr. to do their voice-overs.

It's not up to me to teach advertisers or communication managers how to do their job, but to have no voice or accent preference seems to be counter-intuitive.

Third, by opening an audition up to ALL English speakers, the voice-seekers are creating more work for themselves. Theoretically, they are opening the door to auditions from Mumbai, Sidney, Houston, Johannesburg, Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin etcetera. Is that really what they want?

Wouldn't it be much easier and more efficient to specifically describe the voice type, the accent and the read they need? It's like giving voice actors a map to reach their destination. Why not switch on the light? Otherwise, we'll end up taking shots in the dark, hoping for the best.

So, here's the 64 thousand dollar question: How do you approach an audition for a Neutral English speaker?

In the ideal world, you'd talk to your client and find out what they really want. That's business 101. Never assume. Always ask. Here are a few "double-nots":

- Don't assume that they don't want an American accent if the commercial is released in the UK;

- Don't assume that you should not use your British accent if the video is for the U.S. market. Most Americans love British accents. Some even think it makes you sound smarter;

- Don't assume that making assumptions is going to lead to anything.

If you're in a position to have a real conversation with your client (what a concept!), ask what it is that they'll be listening for. Get specifics.

Sometimes clients will tell you: "I really like the voice of Ricky Gervais or John Cleese or David Attenborough. Could you try to get close to that?"

One of my clients sent me a YouTube video of Steve Jobs introducing the new Mac Book Air. She didn't want me to impersonate the big Apple guy, but she did like his informal presentation style.

Thanks to Steve I have landed about five new jobs!

Unfortunately, online voice-over casting sites explicitly forbid you to contact a voice-seeker directly. So, here are three audition strategies that might just work for you if you're not sure which way to go:

1. MORE = MORE: Record multiple versions of the script using different accents and send it as one file. Give yourself a second chance to make a first impression!

2. ALL OR NOTHING: Make a bold choice, rather than focusing on neutralizing your accent. Make your demo absolutely unforgettable. Clients don't always know what they want until they hear it. That's how I shop for clothes. I have no idea what I'm looking for until I see exactly what I want.

3. BLEND IN: Create your own version of 'neutral' by blending various accents in your merry voice-over mixer. Rather than giving your clients tulips, you hand them a bouquet of different flowers.

Sounds good, doesn't it? I can already hear some of you saying: "That's great advice but does it really work?"

Of course it works, and most of the time it doesn't.

I once auditioned for a job that -surprise, surprise- came with very detailed instructions. In other words: I knew exactly what to aim for, and my always brutally honest agent said I'd nailed it.

However, in spite of my intergalactic talent, the client didn't pick me. A month later I actually heard the commercial I had auditioned for and my jaw dropped to the floor. The voice they had chosen didn't sound like the voice they had asked for at all. It couldn't be more different. The colleague that was chosen for this very lucrative ad had tried the ALL OR NOTHING approach and ended up a winner. As they say in the movies: "He risked everything (pregnant pause) and became… a hero."

Life is unfair.

Then I remembered the wise words of a guy by the name of David Rosenthal. You might have heard of him. He once said:

"It's not about rejection. It's all about selection."

That's typical David. He always knows how to make me feel better about not feeling very good.

A colleague once said to me: "Don't feel bad that you didn't seal that 5 thousand dollar deal. You just made one of your voice-over friends very happy because he got the job instead of you."

I said: "Great. I guess that's what I'll tell my credit card company. I feel so much better now."

Later on I found out that he had been referring to himself.

So, for my next audition I decided to try the ALL OR NOTHING approach. The voice-over instructions were vague as usual. All I knew was that they were looking for a naughty Elf-like creature for a sci-fi fantasy video game.

Two hours after I had submitted my over the top Elf interpretation modeled after actor Alan Rickman, I received a response from the producer. I was all ears, but the news wasn't good. My outrageous Elf was out the door; fired without even making it to the set. All was lost. Or was it?

In an unexpected turn of events, the producer said that the voice I had used would be perfect for the Evil Magician Dr. Doofus.

He said: "Doofus is like you: brilliant but not very bright," and he wanted to know if I was interested in the role. It would mean more lines and more money, but I decided to put up with that anyway. This was no time to be picky. You've heard the expression: If life gives you melons, make melonade.

What I really wanted to say is this: sometimes 'neutral' leads to nothing. Take a risk. Get out of your comfort zone. Do something that is embarrassingly silly. Who cares? It's between you and your microphone.

Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy and Mike Meyers all make millions doing voice-overs. Would they be where they are today, had they gone for 'neutral'? I don't even think they could pull that off. I wouldn't pay ten bucks to hear them be boring and bland. That's like going to a fancy bar and order tap water. It defeats the purpose.

So, if you happen to hire voices, I have a message for you: Be clear about what you want. Otherwise you'll end up listening to 80 plus auditions that miss the mark and you have not only wasted your time, but the time of all those hard-working hopefuls that poured their hearts and souls into that audition.

If you're a voice talent, do yourself a favor. Even if the script calls for 'neutral,' add some pizzazz to your demo. Kick it up a notch. Use some garlic and red pepper. Sprinkle it with emotion. Record a few versions and send them all into the universe. And if it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't…

And please remember:

Don't give your client a reason to turn to Text-To-Speech software. If they want neutral, that's the way to go.

Goodbye and tot ziens.

This is Paul Strikwerda for Internet Voice Coach.

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